Thursday, May 19, 2005

Rubber Band for your thoughts

It was a rough morning. That is the easiest way to put it. The Little Boy was up at 4am. The same time I discovered he was up, I also discovered that I was sleeping on the floor again. So we popped in a video for The Little Boy and snoozed while he watched Garfield the Movie. Once that was over about 5:30am he was determined to watch TV in the livingroom, my Beautiful Wife volunteered to be up with him so I could get a little more sleep before work. This time on the bed. Now don't get me wrong, it wasn't like he was in a bad mood, he was just up and ready for the day to start.

 Anyhow the alarm clock goes off at 6:15 and I don't turn it off till 6:20. Our alarm clock is on the other side of the room, so you can't just smack it and hit snooze, you have to get up out of bed to do anything with it. So I just let it ring for 5 minutes.  It was that kind of very slow going morning. I can't figure out what to wear, and the news on the TV decides to hide the weather report.

 Well, we go to get in the car and the seatbelt the Little Boy uses has decided to do an imitation of a turtle. It ducked back under the seat so after some poking and proding, I manage to get it up and ready for the Little Boy, all the while very tired and trying to keep what little patience I woke up with.  Some how the Little Boy got that, he figured out I was having a rough morning. So we get to the train station and I get out and give him and my Beautiful Wife a Hug and a Kiss and start to walk to my spot where I stand and wait for the train, half way there I hear the Little Boy calling for me, I turn around and look to see that he is hanging out the window of the car and pulled up right behind me. I smile and walk back, give him a big hug, and he hugs me back, and gives me a little blue rubber band, as if to say, here, this will make your day better, and you know what he was right. It has made my day better. I've put the rubber band around my cellphone which sits on my desk when I am at work. So every 10 minutes or so, my focus is diverted from the screen to the little blue rubber band and my day gets a little bit better. 

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Some Good Ones from Hollywood Squars

 If you remember The Original Hollywood Squares and its comics, this will bring a tear to your eyes. These great questions and answers are from the days when game show responses were spontaneous and clever, not scripted.

Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.

Q. According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
A. Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.

Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

Q. What are "Do It," "I Can Help," and "I Can't Get Enough"?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.

Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.

Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.

Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.

Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.

Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.

Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?

Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.

Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.

Q. While visiting China, your tour guide starts shouting "Poo! Poo! Poo!" What does this mean?
A. George Gobel: Cattle crossing.
Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused but it certainly isn't neglected.

Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?

Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.

Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.

Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and Laugh!